Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Pondering Life...

10 years ago, one of my very dearest friends was diagnosed with Sarcoma. They found it in her lung, which was very rare and over the years, after treatment after treatment, it spread to her brain. Emily has endured so many medical treatments, some experimental, surgeries and radiation, one would truly wonder how any cancer could survive. But it has and now she is losing the battle. This weekend, I am traveling with Mike to Dallas, to spend my last weekend with her. Even as I write this, my body is numb and I am not sure how I am going to make it through.
I think anyone that reads this will know someone in their lifetime to be effected by cancer. I am so angry at what has happened and how cancer has not only taken over Emily's body but effected some other very close people to me.
I always wonder why it seems so prevalent now. Why I know so many people battling this very ugly disease. Is it because I am older? Is it because its more common? I scares me to think...why them...and why not me?
I look at my parents and in-laws and think to myself all the time how lucky they are to be here, alive and well, to see their grandchildren. I pray, more than you would ever know, that I am that blessed and granted the ability to live another 40+ years.
Life is not fair. I have learned that. My mom always said it to me as a kid...and now I believe her. I wish she was wrong. I really, really do.

Monday, August 10, 2009

5 weeks ago....

My life changed...for the better. Actually, it is hard to believe that 5 weeks have gone by already. So fast! I feel great! Relatively speaking, no pain, and I am pretty much back to normal. Between week 3 and week 5, I was exhausted. Because I felt well during the day, and the kids were out of school, it was non-stop, go, go, go and then by their bedtime...I would crash. The hours rolled into days, days rolled into a couple of weeks...and here I am.
I am so happy to have had the opportunity to blog during this experience. I think its not only helped me but helped a lot of other people who always wondered what it was like and questioning having the surgery done themselves.
I bought 3 bathing suits last week...something I have not done in years...in fact - the only one I really owned in the last few years was a maternity bathing suit...that when not pregnant, just passed off as something perhaps my grandmother would have worn!
I finally was able to get rid of a lot of clothing in my closet. I had been pregnant for pretty much 6+ years straight, so having a closet like Oprah just made sense. I had clothing ranging from size 6 to 16! The 16's were donated some time ago. Held on to some 14's and those were donated recently as well. Then the 12's left and I am holding on to the 8's and 10's. 6's....well - those were pretty much wishful thinking. BC...perhaps they fit...over my hips -I truly think at this point, no matter how much weight I lost, the hips are the hips and they are here to stay!
In about 4 1/2 months, I will take the after photos and then be able to see the full effect of everything I went through. Still pretty swollen, but the scar is healing nicely and I like the way its looking! This definitely is a summer to remember....that is FOR SURE!